Life's Yard Sale, Great Bargains Up For Grabs

It’s late and I’m tired, I just got home from seeing my nieces and nephew in Aladdin. It was very cute. It was supposed to be a bunch of folks going down, but ended up being Robyn, her friend Karen, me and Mom. We had a nice dinner, had ice cream, and then the show, followed by backstage with the kids. It was nice to have Mom meet them. The whole thing has been such a long strange trip since 7 months ago I met my brother and his beautiful kids.

I’ve been very pensive today. And maybe just this week. In part because I haven’t been feeling well, I think I’ve spent more time in my head (I know that’s dangerous). It’s been a good thing, though it hasn’t always quite felt that way. I’ve felt a lot of love this week, and a lot of annoyance. Annoyance at myself and others. I’m realizing I don’t have the time for all that I have in my life. Especially feeling run down and less than healthy the past few weeks. Unfortunately I can’t create more time. I’m also at a point in my life where I can’t get rid of things that take up my time. The only option seems to be to thin out some of the things I don’t have time for, including people. I realized I’ve harbored friendships for too long with people that are really just negative influences on my life. I don’t need negativity in my life. Some of these same people are the ones who have been saying to me how positive they’ve seen me become over the past year or so. I’ve been doing some reading and thinking on resistance lately. I’ve come to realize these same people are a resistance on my quest for more positivity in life. Everything has a time and season, and I’ve come to realize that some things in my life have gone past their season, and it’s time to let them rest.

I think things will be calmer, and maybe a little more focused when I’m not so concerned with who I’m offending by not playing into their negativity, or their self serving complaining as a means of attention. At a point in my life when I can’t seem to find the time I need for what’s important, I think it’s time to re-evaluate what’s important to me and make the necessary changes that go along with it.

On that note, I think life will have more room for the love that is out there, and less time for stress and worry about the things outside of my control. It’s a liberating thought. Liberating and exciting.

So tomorrow starts a new week, calendar wise. I have a lot to do, and a lot to get ready for this week. A lot going on at work, and a bunch of medical appts, not to mention finish Eclipse, the 3rd book in the Twilight series. I’m looking forward to a fresh start after such a rough week. I finally have the tests I’ve been waiting for the insurance to authorize on Monday, so I can only believe that will be the first step to feeling better, which is the first step to a fresh start. And a fresh start I really hope means finding a midget for a friend. I think that’s really all that’s missing from my life. That and a pet turtle. It’s been 4 years since Ronnie and I were roommates, and to this day he won’t let me have a turtle unless I let him have a monkey. I don’t think it’s quite a fair trade off. But he doesn’t have to know I have a turtle. Of course when he reads this he’ll be on to me and doing random inspections.

Enough of my mindless chatter for one night. Until tomorrow, when my synapses are firing properly again. Until then Chickens.