Let's Change The World With Baby Steps

I’m sure you’re all tired of hearing me say how blessed I am for the friends and loved ones in my life. I feel even more so today. But I won’t bore you with endless details about the wonderful people I surround myself with.

As I mentioned about Tulip Fest, I spent the night at the ex’s house that night. This past week, while he was still on vacation, I went one night to hang out. We had pizza and watched Twilight. I found it odd I had mentioned how he was like the vampire in my real life, and he had been watching it fascinated by the love story. He seemed to fixate on Bella, and what made her special to the vampire out of all the humans. I guess if he’s my Edward, I’m his Bella. (Through all this I thought how effin hysterical it is that at the age of 36 I’m comparing the remnants of my love life to a tween vampire love story.)

We ate pizza in bed watching the movie. After we ate I put my head on his chest and semi dozed through the rest of the movie. Once it was dark we had the first bonfire of the season outside. However it was really windy and cold that night. All I could remember was Anna Banana telling me how it had been dry recently earlier that day, and pictured all of the ghetto of Schenectady going up in flames while we sat drinking Smirnoff fruity drinks and sharing our iPod collections with each other. That is also referred to as a song off. Much like a dance off, but instead of the white girl and black guy at some school, it’s just 2 white homos in the ghetto. But almost the same.

I know spending that much time in one week with him has concerned many of my loved ones. In reality it was a chance to steal some special moments with someone who played a big part in my life. It may be another 2 years before we even talk again, maybe we’ll talk tomorrow. Either way, it’s only a blessing to have those rare opportunities in between the doldrums of daily life (extra points for using the word doldrum).

Of course I was out late on a school night in order to have the bonfire, and got very little sleep. The following night I set out for bed early, convinced to get a good night’s rest. Instead I got diarrhea. At 3am. Then I got a headache. I watched Legally Blonde 2 in bed, in between trips to the bathroom and attempts at sleep. By 6 I had dozed off, to wake up at 7:30. I put my glasses on, and realized the lens must have popped out of my right eye. If you don’t already know, I’m about one step away from legally blind without my contacts or glasses. My vision is something like 20/400. So without my glasses I don’t see anything. I touched my glasses expecting to feel a missing lens, but instead found my glasses intact. That’s when I realized I just couldn’t see out of that eye.

I got up, called work, put my allergy eye drops in, made some coffee, and blinked a lot. But nothing changed. I eventually went to work and called the Dr, who sent me to Urgent Care. I sat there for 3 hours texting people about the queer (it’s okay, I can use that word, I know one) in the office who decided to have a stare off with me. I won. Finally I was examined and told other than a fever I was fine, and they shipped me off to an eye surgeon. Again I sat for hours being poked prodded and asked which was clearer, one or two. Finally the Dr (who by the way was so deliciously gorgeous I could have made a Doctorkabob out of him) sat me down and said there was nothing wrong. I was relieved to know I wasn’t going to go blind.

By that point it was 5pm on a Friday, too late for any other tests or Dr’s. So he sent me home to rest, and to follow up Monday morning with my regular Dr, and he’ll let her know I’ve got something funky going on. (That was his official diagnosis, “something funky”.) So it was hopefully just something freaky, but in the meantime I can only see about half as good as normal out of my right eye. It’s okay during the day, but at night I can’t drive or read. Hopefully that will end soon, it’s really getting in the way of my new Facebook addiction Chain Rxn (you’ve got to try it out, it’s like cyber crack and sex with donkeys all rolled into one).

So to bring this full circle, so many of my friends were concerned on Friday, and offered so many forms of assistance I was really touched. As late as a couple of hours ago people were asking if I needed anything, and checking on how I felt. I remember dating someone who used to get really pissed at how much contact I had with my friends on a daily basis. “Attached to my phone” and constantly checking in with them and responding to them was a major pain in his ass. I guess to some people it might be an annoyance to keep up with a lot of people, but to me it just makes me know I’m so lucky that I’ve found so many great people in the sea of fuck ups we see on a daily basis. And for those friends and their concern over my time with my ex, over my “something funky”, and anything else going on in my life, I am thankful to know someone’s got my back out there no matter what may be going on.

So rock on twisted sisters and smothered brothers, let’s start a new week full of smiles. I’m going to try and make it a better world by not calling people the c word in fits of road rage on Henry Johnson Blvd this week. (I plan to achieve this by not driving on Henry Johnson Blvd this week, but it will still be helping to make the world a better place.) So what are YOU going to do to make it a better world this week?