Does Your HMO Cover Reacharounds?

There’s an ad on FB tonight to get me to take an IQ test, it says that 4 of my friends are idiots and asks if I’m smarter than them. Really? Only 4 of my friends are idiots? I’d like to see your research on this, cuz I’d say probably half of them are idiots. So look around, if you’re with another friend of mine it means one of you is probably an idiot. But please understand, that’s probably why I love you.

Today was my 5th, and hopefully last back procedure. Only this one was more brutal. Now that they’ve located the problem, to a more pinpointed location, they did about 7 injections in the area. Even down in my butt. I screamed a couple of times, and they gave more novacaine. But now that it’s all worn off, as well as the valium they gave me before and the pain killers after, I’m definitely feeling it. So this will be brief, so I can load back up on painkillers and jelly beans. The breakfast of….well not sure of what, but not champions.

I had a male nurse who stood like a gay man. So I’m not entirely sure about him. However when it was time to put the betadine on, he seemed to spend a lot of time near and around my butt crack. And if I didn’t know better I’d say he even explored a little. I don’t know that I necessarily needed the solution in my butt, but what the hell. For the price my insurance is paying for these procedures the least they can give me is the operating room equivalent of a reach around.

It’s been a long time since my butt hurt this much without at least someone buying me a drink first.