11 Years Later

So here we are again, just the two of us. I love these intimate moments we share. Between you and me it’s alright to tell you I’ve felt a bit off the past few days. I’m not exactly sure why yet, but I’m all sorts of out of sorts. Tomorrow is Wednesday (though secretly all day I thought today was Thursday) so I have hopes for a new beginning with the re-arrival of the sun. Not only that but it’s Earth day, and Administrative Professionals (it’s so much easier typing secretaries) day. How often do they fall on the same day? (Probably every year and I never noticed, if that’s the case just leave me believe this is a cosmic event.) So tomorrow can’t help but be a great day. If for no other reason I’m getting a haircut.

A haircut you say? Why yes, I say back. I’m overdue, and I’ve dealt with the horror that was my last haircut (in which I actually bled), so it’s time to move on and cut my shiny tendrils. I have a big date on Thursday with the ex and would hate to look unkempt for our annual visitation. I also have to lose 55 lbs in 36 or so hours if anyone has any ideas. (For the record, it’s not a big date, just pizza and to say Hi.)

Earlier I was envisioning scenarios of different conversations we could have. One was to compare sexual partners since we broke up. I immediately realized what a bad idea that would be. Seeing as he surpassed my # before I had a chance to complete my Change of Address card for the Post Office, I figured it was likely that game could only end in ugliness. While having those thoughts I heard myself in the back of my mind say “I’ve only slept with 3 people and gone on 2 dates since we broke up”. I realized those numbers don’t quite add started giggling at myself. Definitely not a smart thing to tell someone (but its okay just between us).

I went to a retirement party for one of my first supervisors with the state today. While we were sitting there reminiscing I couldn’t help but marvel that it’s been 11 years since I began this oh so interesting journey in state government. Working for the state was at most my back up plan. But somehow it’s ended up being the play book for the past 11 years. (Did I make good use of a sports analogy? Two straight thumbs up for me.)

Someone, we’ll nickname her Jamie, today asked me about #’s and budgets and how I got into my career. After work I got into a huge scuffle with Albany Med over a bill, which led me to a 2 minute ride through the NYS Health Insurance phone system, only to find out they don’t help people after 5. All of this is over $5 that I refuse to pay. I figure on principle alone I could easily destroy my credit and future over this $5. Anyway. To deflect my anger at Blue Cross and the state of New York (I harbor no ill feelings towards Alb Med) I replied to Jamie. It made me reflect, yet again, on my career choices.

The main point I came to from all this introspective reflection today was that I did not choose my career, it chose me. That sounds much deeper than I mean it to. Let’s put it another way. I didn’t choose my career, I haphazardly fell into it because I got mad at a boss and walked off the job and never returned, and was desperate for a replacement job when the state opened its arms to me. Yeah, that sounds much better. Think I’ll put that on my resume.