Better Understanding Through Chemistry? (repost)

(this was a blog post I wrote on February 27, 2009...3 months before becoming debilitated by Lyme, 4 months before diagnosis...I have no idea what possessed me to even wish Lyme disease on Mariah Carey. I have no memory of writing this, but found it interesting I would mention a disease I barely even knew existed months before becoming ill. If I had said this about Oprah I'd believe she caused my Lyme, but I know Mariah doesn't have that kind of power)

I’ve come to the realization that Facebook is going to be the biggest obstacle to my publishing dreams. It’s also going to be the death of my blog. It’s too damn addictive.

I have a lot of scattered thoughts, and a rumbling tummy. Had I not slept for 2 hours right after work tonight, I’d have more time to do things like laundry so I can wear clean underwear to work tomorrow. Instead those dirty whores on the 6:00 news put me to sleep.

I’ve had a phew epiphanies this week. Mostly drug or alcohol induced, but that’s okay, sometimes those are the ones that are clearer. Like when I lost 150 lbs sometime between Mormonism and homosexuality, my body image was very distorted. I still saw someone who weighed over 300 lbs. It wasn’t until the night I tripped on shrooms for the first time that I saw myself as I looked. (It’s also the night my friend thought she was having a baby cuz she got her period and we all spent an hour helping her do Lamaze breathing. It’s also the night my other friend thought he killed the throw pillow which he had earlier been rocking to sleep by throwing it behind the couch. In fact, now that I think of it my first shroom trip deserves its own blog entry. So enough of that. But my point is that no matter what people said, or what the scale said, or what size clothes I was wearing, it wasn’t until I was tripping balls that I finally saw myself in a form of reality. It’s kind of ironic how that works sometimes. What I’m trying to say is this has been one of those ironic weeks, minus any hallucinogenics.

Oddly, speaking of weight, I’ve lost half a pound since going off my diet and quitting smoking. It’s kind of like when I gained weight when I had mono. But that I blame on my roommates. I’d lie on the couch all day for 2 weeks. Each day my one roommate would come home and get me stoned. That led to the munchies, at which point Lori would come home and make me her amazing yummy meals. Having mono was actually a lot of fun, other for the feeling like you’re going to die part. Hey, my glass is half full.

By the way did you all hear that Jonathon Knight from New Kids On The Block is also a pole licker? I guess his ex outed him. The comedian I heard talking about (Sarah Colonna, she’s on Chelsea all the time) said it’s always the wrong boy band member. We wanted Justin…we got Lance Bass. We wanted Jordan Knight, we got Jonathon Knight. Oh well, not that I’ll be sleeping with either of them any time soon.

That bitch Mariah Carey is on right now. I hate that I like this song. I hate that I can like anything about her. I hope she gets bit by a tick. (Notice I didn’t say I hope she gets Lyme disease, I’ll leave that up to karma.)

There’s some already cooked bacon just waiting for me to microwave it and put it on a sandwich (its okay, I’m having it on whole wheat bread, so it balances out). Dinner and hip hop, then to bed. Another respectable evening with Eric.

To my Ohio and Michigan peeps, let it be known I am declaring the first week of August Ohio week!!! (Yes Troy, you can start preparing my welcome basket now.) I think me and Matty will be making a road trip. So people of Ohio, start stocking up on your pills and booze and get the lube ready, cuz EZ-E is on his way!