To Smile Is To Be Happy. I Guess I'm Happy

(this was a MySpace blog from 2/5/09, 3 months before I became sick, brought back good memories and reminded me the hope I had for life before it all came crashing down around me...now I have new and different hope)

This has been a rough family week.  Some in jail, some dead, some in hospital, some dying, some undergoing surgery.  It seems each day bring some affliction to someone else in the family.  I was discussing this with a friend during the week, and today she kept emailing me asking me if I was really okay.  Asking if I needed to meet to cry or laugh or hug.  I appreciate the support, but I feel like I’m not as affected by things as she thinks I should be.  Instead I made lunch plans with her next week, which seemed to subdue her. She kept saying to keep smiling.  Something she needn’t worry about.

 

I smile a lot.  More and more it seems.  Usually following a smile is a laugh.  Today one so unexpected and deep I actually snorted out loud in my cubicle laughing to my email.  I love my coworkers.  They are such an amazing group of people.  I love my friends.  They are also an amazing group of people.  I love my family.  An extraordinarily amazing group of people.  I love my life.  Sure, I wish I had a nicer couch, or a car with brakes.  But I really can’t complain.  I’m surrounded by love.  In a world where love is so absent it is truly a blessing to have it abound so plentifully in one’s life.  I’m a pretty lucky fella.  

 

This is the first year I can remember where the transition from an old year to a new year didn’t screw me up for weeks into the new year every time I had to write a check or sign something.  I wonder if it’s because 2009 is an exceptional year (Chinese year of the Ox by the way, which is my sign.  I’m a Taurus Ox.  Rawr.)  Or perhaps 35 is the magic number where you finally get how this whole changing of the years works.  

 

I spent a good portion of the day today not knowing what day it was.  It started early this morning.  It lasted until we got ready to leave.  I got confused (happens easily) in the men’s room thinking it was fridge cleanout Friday, and that I had to get anything I had in there out before it got tossed.  Then I laughed and told my friends how I thought it was Friday and then realized we still had 2 more days left.  They both kind of looked at me like I was a bit touched and pointed out that tomorrow was Friday and there was only one day left.  I was quite happy, because 1 day of work left is great than 2 days of work left. Certainly not equal to.  

 

I have a funny thought in my mouth and haven’t had sex in quite a while.  Two separate thoughts, not to be comingled with each other, but both crossing my mind at the same time.  Perhaps I have a funny taste in my mouth because I haven’t had sex in a quite of a while.  Then there would be reason to comingle the two together.  Plus you’re not a slut if you’re having random sex for health reasons.  Score one for self esteem.

 

My feet aren’t going to moisturize themselves, so I say goodnight.  That’s a lie really, I’m not going to moisturize my feet.  I’m going to watch the Thursday night shows.  But that felt shallow.  How could I ever lie to you, my tens of adoring readers?  

 

Until our paths cross again Chickens.